A few years ago I met a mom who had two sons in the same prison as my son. We met by passing messages back forth to each other that our sons had for us. We became friends very quickly and spoke on the phone almost everyday. Looking back now, I think it was something that we both needed only we didn’t know that. One of her sons was released and offered to help me if I had any questions about what was going on with my son. I jumped on that offer because now I could ask without a recorded calls or emails. Her son and I soon became friends.
Her son was placed in a halfway house when he was released so our friendship was mainly phone calls and text messages for a long time. He didn’t call his mom often or didn’t respond to her calls or text which i couldn’t understand. One day I finally asked. He explained that he and his brother hadbeen in and out of prison most of their lives since they were 18 years old, He was in his 50’s and his brother is in 40’s now. I was like oh I understand. He said ” I love my mom but I have let her down so much it’s hard to face her”.
After awhile we met in person. He didn’t drive. He asked me if I would take him to see his mom. His mom lives in a town about 3 hours away from Phoenix. I was more than happy to take him. I thought it was important because I knew from our conversations that he needed to have some conversations with her and really work somethings out. Neither one of them are young anymore and things need to be right in case something should happen to either one of them. I took him a couple of times to see her. His mom felt responsible for her sons constantly going in and out of prison. She needed to know that she wasn’t responsible. It was her son’s choices and believe it.
He started to miss work, he would disappear. Now he was lying to me, his mom and his boss. Drug addiction is a difficult disease to overcome. He spent most of his life in prison on those charges and other charges. His mom came down here one weekend and I called him out about the lying in front of her. It was one of he hardest things I ever had to do. I had a lot of respect for her. We had grown really close and I knew that this could possibly ruin our friendship. However she needed to believe me and the only way that was going to happen was for her to see it in person. No mom ever wants to believe the worse about their child.
I was getting constant phone calls and text messages from him. Saying how sorry he was. How he will never lie to me again. He will get his life together. He will change, he will do anything. The whole time he was doing drugs and living one streets at this point. He didn’t know that his mom told me in one of our conversations while he was in prison that he has a bad habit of lying and has had since he was a child.She didn’t know why he started as a child other than her husband their father was a little abusive when he drank. She said their father was also away most of time because he was in the military.
Radio silence from her. Until one day when she called me and asked me to go find her son. It been weeks since she had her from him. I did as asked. I went out to look for him. I found him. I tried talking him but he walked right passed after he figured out it was me. He was so strung out on drugs. He looked horrible. At this time he was still on parole. I called his mom, said I found , this is where to find him. She called his parole officer and was arrested again. He went to back to jail again. She thought she could keep safe there and he would get clean there.
Released from prison once again. This time he goes to a program. He doesn’t stay long. Once again he’s homeless. It gets extremely hot in Phoenix in the summertime here. To hot to be homeless. He has a heat stroke and ends up in the hospital. He talks to his mom and says he just wants to die. She calls the hospital, tells them what he had said, they say he confused because of these stroke and the oxygen he was on. The next day he’s released. The next week they find him dead on the side of the road from what think is another heat stroke.
I say he has tortured soul because this is person who has been in and out of prison for most of life. He would make it work for a short period of time then get arrested again . He was good person, a caring person with a big heart. I think the lies were more like a fantasy life. A life he wish he had. A better life. He just couldn’t get it right no matter how hard he tried. His mom gave everything to her sons. They didn’t have much, they struggled a lot. But they always knew she loved them. No parent shuold have to bury their child.
When I spoke to her I told her I was going to write his story she said I should. She has been dealing with prison system a lot longer than I have. She’s angry not just because she has lost her son but at the whole system that has failed her sons time and time again. No trainong, no classess, no support, no drug rehab programs that actually work.. No jobs or job training for when they get out. Halfway houses that take your entire paychecks. I mean the list goes on. The fact that so many are homeless and want to committ suicide. The ones that don’t have families that they can count on and get help. The ones that need help, counseling, and support.The same things that I write often.
I feel so much sorrow for this mom. I truly believe her son has finally found peace now.
I love all the comments I have been getting. Thank you.
If you have a comment or story you would like me tell me please let me know.