Recognition

Families:

There are so many reports and stories about inmates, but no one ever writes about the families. I usually write about inmates as well. This time, I wanted to write about the families. Families go through so much having a loved one behind those walls that keep them from their loved ones.  Sometimes, I think inmates don’t see how much their families go through when they go to prison.  The courts, attorneys, everyday struggles, the children, and the extra costs of prison that no one knows tells you about.

Costs:

When your loved one goes to prison, no one tells you that there aren’t free phone calls or emails. There are commissary costs and fund-raiser costs for things like blankets, sheets, and pillows. There are clothes costs if the prison doesn’t give inmates enough clothes for the summer and winter.  All these costs come after the attorney fee and court fees. Attorney fees are over, or maybe you are still fighting your case in prison and you had a public defender. Then there is loss of income because your loved one went to prison, and there are the daily struggles. Increase childcare because you have to work more since you lost income and all this time, the one incarcerated keeps asking for more because they are hungry or don’t have enough money on the phone, media account or phone account.

Home

Everyday, you get the children ready for school. You keep the house running, do the grocery shopping, clean the house, and go to work.  You make sure the bills are paid, and sometimes you may not have the money for all the bills. Sometimes, you have to choose between sending them money or paying the bills. You make sure the children have everything they need to be successful. Sometimes, you are so tired from the day, when that call comes from your loved one, you don’t want to talk, and they don’t understand.   When that happens, they get upset or frustrated and need to be reminded that you are doing everything by yourself, and everything keeps going while they are in there.

Children:

When one or both parents are in prison, the children suffer the most.  It is very difficult not having your parents to raise you and then being uprooted to a new home or to a family member that you may not know that well.  Children do not always understand why they cannot talk to that parent when they want to, or they may not be told the truth about the person in prison. Some parents will keep their child away from the other parents as well. Many people think that this is a good thing.  I disagree with this because it can cause lasting effects on the child. The child may feel abandoned by that parent until they get out of prison and can explain.

Be Proud:

To all of the families: Be proud of all the things that you are going through and have gone through. Know that you are not alone! Keep pushing through the tough days because things will get better. It is ok to tell your loved ones that the world out here does not stop just because they are in there and that you are doing it all by yourself.  It’s ok to cry or scream if you need to. It’s ok to go out with your friends for a girls’ night out or to binge-watch movies all weekend. It’s ok to send the kids to their grandparents for the weekend because you’re totally exhausted. Take time for yourself when you need to, and keep going !!! You can do it!!!  To all the children, please stay in school, keep getting good grades, and continue doing positive things in your life!

Please tell me your thoughts and stories.